.

'Coffee and Smokes and Cold Diet Cokes,
Thats What pretty girls are made of!'

Z posted this on my facebook yesterday.
I love it, it summerises me.. or at least the new me?
Pretty girls? ... Skinny Girls, thus, pretty.
They both come hand in hand.
If I see an ugly girl with the most amazing figure, chances are, I think she is pretty. Who cares about anything else?
THIN IS THE GOAL.

Thin leads you places. Thin lets you be who you want to be. Thin is freedom and beauty and love and confidence. Thin is what makes all of us do what we do... it makes us seek ana.

Today I was at the dreaded work place (HORRIBLE FOOD STORE) which is the place that has made me in to this monster (AKA morbidly obese) and is usually the place I fall down... But today, I had a few spoonfuls of non fat yoghurt at 7, nothing until 1 oclock where I made Couscous with haddock and mixed veg.. I only made an average sized bowl........ But I couldnt manage the whole thing. :D It felt lovely being able to throw away food, as if it was nothing- FOOD IS NOTHING, food isnt happiness, nor love, food is evil!

I had my dinner break with a friend from work which meant my original plan to spend the hour scribling and sticking in thinspos to my 'binge book', was not possible. I mean, I cannot let anybody see it. :/ What would they do?... not worth thinking about really.

Following this I had a cracker with light cheese, which I shouldnt have done, but I panicked, usually it would be a pack of crisps or chocolate... or at least a can of full fat coke. I even made sure I didnt drink diet sodas today, Just water, and a coffee... and a few smokes- cant blame me, I need one unhealthy thing in my life (plus, it is said to suppress appitite so whatever!)

But, when I got home, I broke... I was forced duck and pancakes by the mother.... not just that, but...... a mars bar. oh jesus. christ. alive.
I might as well just say hello to forever obesity.
I could literally feel the fat adding to my already enormous hips, the calories slide in to the celulite dimples, the chocolate, caramel and nougat drench my waist in CHUBBB, FAT, UGLINESS!
Oh.

I shall make up for that MISTAKE tomorrow, when cutting my calories by half again. I dont deserve calories tomorrow.

I hope the day has gone better for you girlies. :D